Looking for a job as smart meter

I’m a smart meter looking for an apprenticeship placement in the electronics field. Will you consider employing me? My current qualifications are as follows:
a: Mathematics - unable to carry out functions and provide the correct answer.
b: WEEE - Highest grade possible with advanced abilities to chemically break down and polute your local rubbish dump.
c: Geography - I never know where I’m located.
d: Networking - currently unable find someone to talk to and give random number sequences.
Prospects - I look forward to a position in a nice warm modern residence where I can give energy suppliers wrong calculations and make consumers save energy.
Thanks for your time and I look forward to working properly for you in the distant future.
Yours Truly, Smart Meter.


you should perhaps try bulb careers page methinks you would fit in perfectly

Hi, Don’t you think smart meter is a new pop-up industry and how many years will go by until smart works? Looking round this forum I see many justifiably very angry people who really suffer financially because of the failure of ‘smart’ meter reading. There’s a lot to be said for the meter man calling round, at least until smart is really smart.
All this faffing about ‘smart metters’ reminds me of the computer industry where manufacturers could not get it right and the end user was penalised by paying for it.

Please stop plagiarising my CV.

In general, smart meters already work. Don’t mistake all the problems you see here on this forum as being respresentative of the general picture. For sure, all suppliers are having problems, but none as far as I can see have messed everything up quite as badly as Bulb.

Is this the fault of smart meters? Ultimately a non-smart smart meter is no worse than any other traditional meter. You can simply take a manual reading from it and give it to your energy supplier, just like we’ve always done for the last 15+ years without a “meter man”. Now as we all know from this forum, once Bulb have installed a smart meter they are apparently incapable of accepting a manual reading and producing a bill in the traditional way. That’s not a failing of smart meters per se, it’s yet another failing of Bulb to plan ahead and develop their billing platform in a sufficiently flexible way as to accept multiple data provider plug-ins - manual, SMETS1, SMETS2-DCC, etc. Look at what Octopus are doing for an example of how to get energy tech right.

Hi Hooloovoo, If smart meters were perfect we’d not be conversing like we are. Customers complain about them going blank, resetting, showing the wrong amounts etc. The energy industry including smart manufactures, should not have introduced them until they worked perfectly. While smart is imperfect we will continue to see complaints from those who may pay too much for energy.
Better get back to watching snooker on my smart TV powered by smart solar panels.

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who’s winning? smart solar panels or smart tv|?

Hey skippy, I’m too smart to read the scoreboard because the numbers keep changing!

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Me too I just add the coloured balls